The Good that Comes From Unblocking Our Blessings

Written by Jourdan Lobban

Things took an unusual turn  after undergoing a group interview for the Culturally Programming Advisory Board (CPAB), an event-creation organization run by Black and other students of color at my whiter-than-Christmas university. The amount of boldness, style, and “drip” (a term I just learned last year), the CPAB seemed to exude was more intimidating than all my majors and minors combined.

While at the interview, a Nigerian freshwoman was lamenting about how hard it was to meet other Nigerian students on campus. I felt for her so deeply. I knew how it isolating and mentally taxing it felt to be the only black student, considering that I was the only African-American/Afro-Jamaican person in most, if not all of my classes. When mentioning that I knew some Nigerian folk and where they hang out, all I received was, “Ahh nah, I got schoolwork to do. I ain’t don’t got the time for that.” 

On the outside, I was chilling. 

But on the inside, I’m like, Damn. 

The group I had presented with was just talking about the disconnect within the African Diaspora and how everyone can help in bridging that divide. But when I tried dropping some knowledge into her lap, she blocked herself from the blessing without even thinking about it. 

Like, how is that even a thing?

It wasn’t until well after the day passed that it clicked in my head.

For the longest time, I was doing exactly what she did. Anytime people suggested something that would help me but it would mean forcing myself outside of my comfort zone, negative reactions always erupted from within me. Instead of embracing change, my mind only feared it relentlessly. When an eventual win was well within reach, the immediate losses clouded my entire vision. And for every time I said no, took a pass, or thought I would not measure up for an opportunity that would have added wealth to my life, there was almost always a person that took it with success flying after them. Their qualifications did not matter a lick.

The most important thing was that they went for it when I didn’t. 

When I received the email regarding the final decision for the CPAB Internship position, I did my best to stay calm well before opening the message. 

Reading the confirmation of my acceptance was like a breath of relief. All the while, the only thing that kept me from having my anxiety completely swallow me up was knowing that if I tried and failed, it’s still better than if I hadn’t at all. 

Getting this internship wasn’t really about luck. It was more about going in knowing that whatever blessings that are coming for me will fall into place if I am persistent enough. A no means nothing until it is allowed to stop one from achieving their goal, especially when it is often right around the corner. 

People tend to wish for the things they lack in their current lives. Wishing for a good grade, that cute crush to notice you, or to get that job you’ve been salivating over since grade school, consumes our minds daily. 

When hope seems lost for achieving a specific goal, the confirmation, or “blessing” comes, but not in the tightly-knit package people expect it to come in. The tutor who can help you pass the final wasn’t your favorite person during middle school. And the hookup for the job has a lisp that makes you consider drafting that two-week notice. Allowing trivial things to keep us from heaven-sent miracles is what keeps us from actually enjoying the journey.

Sadly, it happens too often.

We wonder what is taking so long, when in fact it all may have arrived under our noses and was turned away. Interestingly enough, we will be hit with so many potential opportunities in our lifetimes that will go unnoticed when regarded with average levels of attention. It is those of us who look intentionally and critically close that have a plethora of options to choose from. 

The Black people who watch anime and knit on Thursdays like you do?  They’re out there, honey. 

A job that pays writers more than one cent per hour is just waiting to hug an awesome person such as the one reading this article right now. 

A soulmate who texts back quick, scavenges books with you, and reads black radical manifestos with you on their lap all sexy and content? 

That has your name (and mine) written all over it. Wanting something beautiful and amazing for your life is a natural, divine right. Therefore, when your blessings arrive, fight whatever urge you have to block them. 

Everything starts with the mode of thought and then flows into your speech. After that, what manifests is your making.

So baby, make the most of what is given to you. The struggle, the wait, all of it prepares you for receiving what is meant just for you.