The Monster Under the Bed: How the Coronavirus Exposed Our Worst Fears
Written by Sydney Clarke
When I was younger, I was terribly afraid of the dark.
I had a nightlight in my room and the doors had to be closed except for a small crack for my bedroom door. Because I hated being alone when the lights were off, I made my Gran's room my room and I slept with her every night. The possibility that there was something waiting in the dark to get me and I'd never be prepared or big enough to fight it off shook me to the core, even to this day. Unless I'm watching a thriller in the daytime, I don't risk it.
The unexpected brings out the thoughts we try to suppress. The rise of COVID-19 has shown itself to be the Kryptonite to all the good deeds we act on to suppress our true feelings. The videos of people antagonizing people of Asian descent, the stockpiling of toiletries, and the capitalistic structure that allows hand sanitizer to be sold for more than $50 on Amazon.com have reminded me how disjointed we become from each other when a crisis takes place.
Distrust grows viciously.
Now, a train car is an even more dangerous place than it was and our fellow commuters are walking deadly weapons who don't understand the power and potential destruction of their bodily fluids. Just a few weeks ago, wealthy private universities were closing and CUNY and SUNY students were wondering what would happen to them. Now, international and domestic students are scrambling to find an affordable way home.
COVID-19 has shown me how unprepared the world is for a pandemic or any major change. The power of the media to build ratings based on panic has shocked me even though it shouldn’t. It leaves me second-guessing the people around me and the institutions in my life because there's always the little thought in the back of my mind that they won’t tell me all the facts. And that, for some reason, the full story is sifted and separated. It also doesn't help that the president does not have a credible track record with the truth. So, when he gets in front of a mic to address America each night and uses the word "unnecessary" when talking about whether people should take the tests to discern positivity, my mind doesn't know what to think.
Fear has manifested itself into another monster under our bed with the ability to shapeshift and make itself comfortable in our minds, pushing us to act out of character— or at least the character we've created and projected despite its authenticity. I've seen how quickly we can turn on each other because of a virus that does not discriminate and, much like during the Obama and Trump administrations — we aren't as well put together as we say or think we are.
It's shocking and bewildering that I am living in what feels like an apocalypse movie without having the script or director yell cut.
Shoot, all this turmoil makes me want to write a poem to try to understand the flood of emotions I've been feeling. While there is a reasonable sense of panic and fear, I applaud my Black people for doing what we do best: making each other laugh in a crisis. Memes, Facebook statuses, creative skits and videos, and songs have reminded me that there are silver linings grounded in the belief that comedy and positivity can bring us together.
I pray you all exercise caution for your sake, your families and friends, and strangers. Leave links in the comment section of this post to informative and credible pages with information about COVID-19 and some uplifting and funny pages that have brightened your day. The CDC and World Health Organization are very helpful. Travel.State.Gov. Stay safe, fam.
Author Bio
Sydney Clarke is finishing her senior year at the City College of New York with a double major in English with a Creative Writing concentration and Political Science. Foremost, she is a writer, but poetry is her first love. She weaves humor into her stories of complex past relationships, her Caribbean cultural ties, and moments from her childhood on her blog sydneyawrites.com. She currently resides in Brooklyn, New York.
